street feet

sarah;

last friday i went to see a concert outside where the children were dancing and the whole community was gathered to see and participate in the concert to show their talent.  some teenagers sang, comedy skits and dating games were played with the audience and a group of older women were about to dance with their fans. as i was attending the children back stage, the women dancers happened to be next to me and they waited patiently with sweat running down their faces, because of the stage lights that flashed strongly through their pores. it looked as though they were  used to performing.    It also seemed very important to them as they stood with their heads up and a straight look as though very concentrated. one might've thought that they were up next, but in fact, they were not since we were. one thing is sure, they were not shy of staring at me and the other foreign teacher once in a while. their readiness and style appeared to be a sense of pride, of unity.  of more than showing their talent.  their eyes shined and their make up glittered. perhaps they were the women of the street corners that hold this cool ritual of dancing every night. and that sometimes with evenings like these they can show what they practice. what i mean is, groups of women, like them, gather at almost every neighbourhood corner outside at 8 o'clock in Daxing and dance to a lively beat and men join in too depending on the dances.

i actually watched some dance one evening and there were many couples dancing. this was happening in the main square of the city. the rythmn was always followed, whethere people danced the same steps or did their own thing. the mixtures complimented each other and the different sways gave color to the whole composition. they were like individual notes that formed a harmony of the feet. people mostly follow specific steps but you might catch some dancing versions of tango while some odd couples dance to a lovely lonely beat. an older couple looked each other in the eye and their dance was completely different from everyone else's. perhaps it was an old tune they used to dance to. their gaze was somewhere else, as though this dance floor were the memories of a created history that they were both thinking about. present and detached. completion of contradictions.

there are many contradictions which i am searching to understand here. two chinese girls that i met told me a same saying in the same day, which i found a funny coincidence. they said ; there are always two sides to a coin. its simple and we have all probably heard this before but now that i am travelling it is as though it is amplified because i try to create explanations to what i see to try to understand the culture, the people, but then, as soon as i do that; i realise that theres more and i keep questioning myself. i know  i have to keep doors open as though everything is uncertain.  i always have to remember that my cultural make up has to be broken down in order to break the old habits of putting meaning to something in a certain way because it is this very option that influences the way i see, as people see to a certain degree and that is why, i keep the doors opened and am often changing my points of views. they are determined but far from complete, as every opinion. perhaps there are certain things that we as humans strongly believe in, but what about the rest? and what are those important things? what creates these values and why do we keep them? 

for the moment i just let myself be taken by the ride and try to leave opinions outside. i have yet to discover... i have some ideas of certain things, but this land is vast and the minds are so far from what i know ... one of a few things that  i recognise is that the people here need very little and seem very happy.  also many are generous to me but i dont know if that is due to my being a foreigner as some even go as far as to praise us in a certain way, or if they are really like that with each other.  i know their family values are strong, and the support and respect to everyone older than oneself is greatly respected but i have not yet encountered someone who spoke of their family much. I have not had many chances to have such conversations with the people because only very few can speak english. but there are some that do at sschool which i am becoming acquainted with which is good because i have many questions to ask...

good night

Comments

[joyce]

hier, jai aussi dansee. Dansee dans un autre univers. Celui de la conscience. Mes idees envahissaient mon corps et mon ame. Mon esprit etait a la mercie de ses idees tous plus incoherante l'une de l'autre. Jai aussi dansee avec un homme et son univers. Je crois que nous dansions parfois ensemble et d'autre seul. Alors que nous essayons de danser ensemble, je realisais que nos efforts etait inutile. A la fin, nous nous sommes detruit. Ne plus etant apte a danser, il s'est retire. J'etais revenue au point de depart, je realisais que j'avais changee, et ses idees plus incoherantes l'une a l'autre ne l'etais pas reelement. C'etait seulement moi, moi qui dansait seule avec mon monde imaginaire et gemissant de surprise et d'imprevue. J'y ai vue des couleurs et des formes, des mots et des langues jamais categoriser au par avant. C'etait manifique, paisible mais pourtant si chaotique. c'etait commeun vent si puissant qui m'empechait d'ecouter et qui soufflait toute mes ordres d'idees. Trouvant la porte de sortie j'ai retruover mon homme qui avait cesser de danser. Nous, moi, lui. J'aurais tant voulu continuer a bouger, mais cetait fini. Nos portes ce sont barree, je suis partie, en essayant de ne pas me retourner. Voila, c'etait ma soiree.

Tu me manques Sarah et j'aimerais tant partager mon esprit avec toi. Je t'aime fort et je pense constament a toi a travers les etoiles et le ciel, je vois et je te sens. Tention a toi ma cherie. xxx